Small Beginnings of Grace

Our middle little has been particularly challenging the last few months. Not because of a stubborn spirit. Not for failure to obey. Not because her heart is hard. It is, in fact, quite the opposite problem–her tenderness. I hesitate to use that word problem because being soft-hearted is something I pray often over my children. But lately—and I’m not sure if it’s because we’re juggling busyness again, or just for the fact that I have 3 under 5—her little emotions seem to have run haywire. Some days my husband and I exchange puzzled glances wondering how to move forward. I suppose, however, that is not uncommon in this journey of parenting, as a whole. But this feels different. Our sweet girl cries instantly over seemingly the smallest details—my tummy isn’t hungry for this food, I wanted to give you one more hug, my chalk isn’t coloring right, my barbie car won’t fit., the water in the bath tub isn’t right, my pants won’t go on..and the list goes on and on. You may be shaking your head at my overstatement of the obvious—she’s a toddler. In fact, she’s not just a toddler, she’s three. That’s the age so far that has challenged me most. I think most can agree that it’s easy to Google developmental milestones to see why. 3 is that magical age(at least for the kiddos in our family) where they’re learning to deeply interact with the world and relationships around them. They’re asking questions. They’re exploring. And they’re responding as they learn to think critically. With our eldest, we didn’t experience an amalgam of emotions because she is more logical. She asked, we answered and she(for the most part) trusted us. When we didn’t know the answer, we would research together and she retained much. That is just the way she was made. But with our very fragile, tender middle it is entirely different. That’s not to say that both of my daughters don’t harbor gentle, sensitive spirits. I’ve seen it manifested in both on different occasions and under different circumstances.

However I recently discovered that—like me–our sweet girl feels deeply. When she is hurt, she’s down hard. When she is joyful, her spirit bursts forth with singing. When she is feeling silly, she’s the family comedian. And even though her emotions seem to weigh me down sometimes(because I don’t often know how to respond, or don’t have the capacity to respond in patient love) these are the very means by which she will be used mightily one day.

The other day I stumbled upon these words which express what my heart has needed so well:

Let us not therefore be discouraged at the small beginnings of grace, but look on ourselves as elected to be ‘holy and without blame’. Let us look on our imperfect beginning only to enforce further striving to perfection…otherwise, in case of discouragement, we must consider ourselves as Christ does, who looks on us as those he intends to fit for himself. Christ values us by what we shall be, and by what we are elected into. We call a little plant a tree because it is growing up to be so. ‘Who has despised the day of small things?'(Zech. 4:10). Christ would not have us despise little things

The Bruised Reed, Sibbes

I think I realized that on my weary and worn days, when I’m feeling irritable or sluggish, I only see those emotions negatively. Every complaint, or cry of frustration and woe just exasperates me. But I’m forgetting to see those small beginnings of grace in my sweet girl’s life. Yes, she’s the first one to cry–and sometimes wail-(at an eye-twitching pitch)-when she doesn’t get her way, or she is angered by some insignificant detail of the day. BUT she’s also the first and last person to hug her baby brother before nap and bedtime(something she requests daily). And she’s also the one who prays fervently for my aches and pains every night as we tuck her in( Lord, please help mama’s tummy. Please make mama’s headache go away, Lord, I’m so sorry that mama’s nose was bleeding today. Please make her better). She’s quick to notice when people are hurting, or lost in sadness. And she’s there to help, hug, or just be present in that broken moment. She is our feeler in every sense of the word. But there’s also a hidden consistency there that I often miss–her faithful spirit. In every emotion, she commits. I know that sometimes this is expressed sinfully, but it is a trait there nonetheless. She is unwavering in her tenderness and strength. And when this is expressed appropriately it is stunningly beautiful.

But sometimes, as she reminds me, “it’s just hard being 3”. So on those long days(which have been many as of late) I want to remember this. Her little heart won’t always use these gifts well–because she isn’t perfect. But the potential—the goodness–is there, because these are those small beginnings of grace for which we, as her parents, pray regularly. We ask the Lord to work within her heart, to draw her to himself, to make her see his pure, abundant love. And these precious, fragile emotions might just be the means by which she sees who He is and serves those around her. If only my own sinful heart wasn’t obscuring the view…

I’m so grateful that God has allowed me to see more of His gracious, steadfast spirit in this privilege of motherhood. I’m forever thankful that He doesn’t deal with me impatiently, but quietly and tenderly. He is constantly, faithfully drawing me into deeper rest and recognition that I can’t mother well apart from His matchless mercy and grace.

And I’m going to try–especially when my heart feels faint—to look upon my sweet little one as who she might become instead of seeing her flaws(of which I have many, too).

Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

1 John 3:2

This Present Darkness

There is a point during winter at which everything[for me, at least] feels heavy. The seeming permanence of the season weighs me down as the snow[though beautiful] continues to fall with no promise–or even glimpse–of any sign of Spring. Life in rural Vermont promises nothing less though, and I do at least appreciate its direct–though sometimes painfully blunt–nature. This is something I’ve grown to love during our time here–the consistency and resilience of the culture seeps into your soul before you have time to do anything but appreciate it.

And yet…

The days are long, cold and sometimes very[and quite literally] gray. This proves especially difficult for a highly introverted mama with tiny people who have no full way of expending energy. We have to embrace the bitterly cold days however , bundling up to spend at least some time outside, crafting, having tea time, telling stories, building tents, etc. I am endlessly grateful for our sizable, partially finished basement–perfect for racing cars, running, dancing, gymnastics, etc. These things are my saving grace on long days when I can’t seem to catch a break and my spirit feels grumpy.

Coming to Vermont I knew this weather would impact me as an INFP prone to seasonal depression. But right now this weight feels heavier than ever. The potential causes for this are numerous–depending on the day, my attitude, my expectations, etc. But mostly, I think, I’ve been discouraged because of the looming cultural darkness I’ve observed all around me. Sometimes it helps to step away from news/media/etc. and just breathe. I hope for better things. I pray for mercy, but ultimately I cannot ignore the reality that things may not get better here on earth. This is the result of living in a fallen world.

Today while sharing a beloved book(my favorite in the series) with my eldest, my heart found words which spoke into my heaviness pristinely.

The sailors on the Dawn Treader have sailed treacherous seas in search of lost lords, stumbling upon enchanted islands bearing witness to giants, monopods, treasure, dragons, magical people -and everything in between. Always hopeful at the prospect of finding Aslan’s country. And now–near the end– they find themselves surrounded by a suffocating darkness. This is a darkness uniquely known, yet never before felt, leaving everyone woefully worn and repressed to go on. It seems inescapable.

“Never get out!” he yelled. That’s it. Of course. We shall never get out. What a fool I was to have thought they would let me go as easily as that. No, no, we shall never get out!

Lucy leant her head on the edge of the fighting-top and whispered, “Aslan, Aslan, if ever you loved us at all, send us help now”. The darkness did not grow any less, but she began to feel a little–a very, very little–better. “After all, nothing has really happened to us yet, ” she thought.

“Look!” cried Rynelf’s voice hoarsely from the bows. There was a tiny speck of light ahead, and while they watched a broad beam of light fell from it upon the ship. It did not alter the surrounding darkness, but the whole ship was lit up as if by searchlight. Caspian blinked, stared round, saw the faces of his companions all with wild, fixed expressions. Everyone was staring in the same direction: behind everyone lay his black, sharply-edged shadow.

Lucy looked along the beam and presently saw something in it. At first it looked like a cross, then it looked like an aeroplane, then it looked like a kite, and at last with a whirring of wings it was right overhead and was an albatross. It circled three times round the mast and then perched for an instant on the crest of the gilded dragon at the prow. It called out in a strong, sweet voice what seemed to be words, though no one understood them. After that it spread its wings, rose and began to fly slowly ahead,bearing a little to starboard. Drinian steered after it not doubting that it offered good guidance. But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, Courage, dear heart. And the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan’s and with the voice a delicious smell in her face.

In a few moments the darkness turned into grayness ahead, and then, almost before they dared to begin hoping, they had shot out into the sunlight and were in the warm, blue world again. And all at once everybody realized that there was nothing to be afraid of and never had been. (The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Lewis)

Do I wonder why? Do I pray that things will change? Do I worry about the future? YES. But I was reminded that this darkness permeating the world is no news. The fact that people wounded, broken people walk the earth hurting other wounded, broken people is no surprise–not to me, and especially not to the Father.

In the weary winter days, the gloom sometimes leaves me feeling defeated. But my hope is not lost. There is always light, there is always peace. There is always a joy readily available when my gaze is transfixed on the “things above, not the things on earth”.

This week—I saw that light in the form of warmer days. The snow finally started to melt, the sun shone brightly and even though the wind whipped our bodies to and fro as we lingered outside, we could bear it. It was my heart’s personal charge to have courage; to endure. To live in remembrance of the immutable, unfading Light. And I do not take it for granted.

And so whenever these winter days envelop my spirit, feeling unbearably woeful and heavy, I want to look back and remember God’s faithful hand.

He does not leave us in our darkness, but instead pierces through with an unchanging, unshakable hope. We must watch for it. We must wait for it. For it is there all along.

REDEEMINGTHEMUNDANE

When Dreams Lose Their Glimmer

I have written about dreaming before. Not the sleeping kind. But those desires carefully curated and hidden away in the uttermost depths of the soul. When I was tiny, I thought my dream was to be a dentist. This was quickly foiled upon the discovery that mouths are gross. Then as I grew, I believed(and this was an idea that followed me all through college) that I would be a performer. 

I would be on Broadway, or in television. And I would orchestrate my success. 

But then things didn’t really unfold that way, and I can remember feeling a little bit lost. I lingered there longer than I should have, pursuing different avenues in the same vein,  waiting for something to happen and it just never did. No matter how hard I worked, nothing really happened and –somehow–the dream faded. It didn’t sparkle and shine the way it once had.

One of the redundant lies our culture proclaims is that we must pursue our passion. We hear this in an inspiring biography of someone who “never gave up” or we see it printed on a graphic tee shirt on instagram. Follow Your Dreams. Believe in Yourself. Do What Makes You Happy.  While I am not opposed to the idea that we’re all individually driven toward some specific bent or another, I don’t necessarily find these mantras(for lack of a better word) wise. 

It was the staunch transcendentalist Thoreau who once said, Our truest life is in dreams awake

While I don’t align with his particular worldview, I think Mr. Thoreau has a point. 

I spent years pursuing dreams that I believed with every fiber of my being. And I don’t regret that. But I do think there is something to be said for considering the heart of the matter. Was my desire to be known? Or to do something for the sake of bringing glory to the One who gave me the desire to do it? Sometimes, I think it was both. But in the end, I saw at my very core that the desire was to fill some void that was never empty in the first place.

Now, as a wife, mama, etc. I wouldn’t say that I’ve stopped being a dreamer. In fact, my INFP personality leaves me full of ideas almost constantly(bless my patient husband).But things look different. Nothing turned out the way I imagined. I’ve realized who holds–and even cultivates–these dream-like longings of my heart. And I see–with every seemingly mundane moment–the beauty in fixing my gaze on the One who authors my wild ideas and quiet ambitions.

For years I used to regret never pushing myself harder, or giving myself space to pursue my passion. But oh, what freedom I found in embracing what I was given! And what a peace in knowing that it was not only the right but very best thing for me. It wasn’t that my dreams died, it was that they didn’t shine nearly as brightly as they once had. The familiar glow that lifted my spirits for so long had lost its place.

That’s because the One who formed me directed my gaze towards the good, pleasing, perfect plan that was mine all along. My heart is finally at rest not in the why, but the who.

redeemingthemundane

In the long days, when I feel my hours have been wasted and left wanting…when I cannot muster the courage to wash another dish, or wipe another countertop…when discipline seems exhausting and consistency wavers in my own feeble spirit, I want to look back here and remember the goodness and grace in fixing my eyes on the One who has held my heart all along. Whoever I am, whatever I do is meaningless if He is not there at the center.
Today, whatever your now is, however your heart may grieve over what’s lost or left behind, remember Him. Recall His promises. Remember whose you are, and rest in knowing that these ordinary moments–which may not look as you expected–are not for nothing.

His plan and purpose is far greater than anything you could have imagined. He is good. He is faithful. He will give you grace to carry on; to truly and fully live in dreams awake.

A Million Dreams Are Keeping Me Awake

I was reading some of my old thoughts recently and was struck with the harsh reality that I live in a state of ingratitude. This particular stream of words considered the stuff of dreams. What were they? What were mine? What had changed? What had I planned so long ago for myself that was left unaccomplished? 

I was living in San Diego, CA at the time, working two jobs while also trying to hack it as a military spouse whose poor, sweet husband was out to sea more often than at home. I loved my work. I loved where we lived. And of course, I loved being married to my best friend. But somehow on this day, I was feeling a little dreary. I had stumbled upon a YouTube channel of some classmates from college(we all graduated with the same BFA in Theatre together) Instantaneously I was both impressed by their successes and[for a moment] disappointed in who I’d turned out to be. Nothing that I had planned for my life had turned out as I imagined. Briefly, I wondered if I had given up or lacked ambition in the first place. I ended up skimming the rest of the page to the very bottom, only noticing these emboldened words, the dream is following Christ

This week I’ve been pondering what it means to dream. The thing is, I barely recall what I felt that day. I couldn’t have imagined then that the haunting ache of desires that could not be would dissolve. Time is a tincture in that way, I think. Just as they say time heals all wounds, the passage of seasons–of joy and discomfort–has erased entirely my longing for what might have been. It was the famous virologist Jonas Salk who said, “Hope lies in dreams, in imagination and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality”. And while I understand what he meant, I respectfully disagree. I think–at least for now–that dreaming requires perspective, not just a desire to do.  If I”m dreaming from a faulty foundation–whose hope lies in what I deem to be the next best thing–then I won’t ever be fulfilled. No matter how hard I imagine, or how courageously I strive to make those dreams happen, my heart will never rest.  We can “dare to make the dreams reality” but even then, where are we placing our hope?

Today as I watched my son tinkering with pots and pans, it was as if God graciously reminded me of that awkwardly tall middle school girl who used to wonder if she’d ever be a wife or mommy one day. Because then, it seemed overwhelming to believe that I would ever be noticed by a boy. Or of those days rehearsing through tears because nothing I accomplished seemed good enough. And even of that day, writing alone in my California kitchen–when my heart fell to pieces all over again at the familiar fear that I wasn’t living well. All at once I was lost in the journey so far–of schooling, marriage, moving, mothering–and my heart soared.

The dream is following Christ

Isn’t it interesting that in our formative years we waste so much time wishing the days were better, or more productive or the very best? When, in reality(and this is a theme I continue learning) we should number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom(Psalm 90:12)?

God in his perfect goodness sees those heartfelt desires. He delicately handles the dreams of each season–weeding out the treasure that won’t last, and producing fruit from those inspired by Him.

redeemingthemundane

But in His patience, he doesn’t just throw out what seems right and good in our hearts at the  time. Instead, he carefully crafts the dream for our good and His glory. He listens, He loves us faithfully and He continues to point us to the ultimate dream–communion with Himself. 


Today, whatever your dream is–surrender it to Christ. He knows your heart, and He desires to do immeasurably more than you could ask or imagine for the sake of His name and His renown. Anything you could dream for yourself pales in comparison to what He can do in and through you. Rest in the truth that the unfading dream lies in following Christ today, tomorrow and forever.

Armchairs: a Lesson in Faithfulness

 I don’t know about you, but this past week was a bit of a grind. I usually slink into a rhythm after the holiday scramble, but this month our family’s schedule had no choice but to jump head-on into busyness. Unregrettably(and with surprising enthusiasm) we have embraced full days, falling into bed both exhausted and hopeful. Mostly because the weariness of busyness feels right; normal. And we are desperate to be in that wonderful world of routine again. 

I confess that sometimes, the exhaustion of busyness leaves me listless. I(unlike my sweet husband) do not embrace the transition into a new routine well. For me, this has been most visible in my commitment to starting the day early. 

The dawn of the new year brought  a belated Christmas gift of two[long-desired] armchairs. These were chairs we had considered for years, but never allowed ourselves because “the timing wasn’t right”, they were “too expensive” or we had “nowhere to put them”. At the beginning of the year, we made a grand commitment(this was more mine than my husband’s because…he is far more disciplined than I am) to rise early together. I finally realized that the only way my introverted personality would find rest would be to embrace the unthinkable–an earlier alarm. Truth:  this is not me. I really love sleep. I mean, a lot. Ask any member of my family and they will wholeheartedly agree that I really enjoy being in “comfy clothes” snuggled under warm blankets. But I noticed that every time I awoke with the girls(meaning they came in with their standard,  “Mom, can you get me some milk?” morning greeting) I was cranky. Understandably so, right? Because who else wants to wake up to demands? In their defense, they don’t understand that questions can feel demanding sometimes. As far as they’re concerned(and there is some truth to this) it’s my job to meet their needs. But you get it, right? Thus the decision to arise early–like uncomfortably early(for me) was made. And so, morning-by-morning I cringed as my alarm rang out painfully early, and stumbled through our dark, cold kitchen to those beloved chairs. We bought them, I reasoned, and so I must. 

And so–I trudged through those first few days grumbling, yet consistent. It was cold, I was up before the sunrise, and it felt off. But then I remembered my fuzzy red polka-dotted robe. And there was a fireplace. And I could finish my tea without having to reheat it. And I got to spend time with my husband before the kids woke up. And this was the only time of day to enjoy my winter village[which is actually what I’m calling my Christmas village since I haven’t had the heart to pack it up yet] in quiet calm. And…and…

Something strange happened as I continued my date with the chairs: my heart changed. I began to see the fruit of this simple act of faithfulness. 

I recently finished reading the book of Joshua. His last charge to the people of Israel before his death really struck me. In fact, any time I see someone’s final words in scripture, it grips my heart. There’s something about the balance of caution and tenderness in Joshua’s tone that seemed to resonate with my heart this morning, in particular. After gathering the Israelites before him, Joshua recounted all the good things that the Lord had done for the people: freedom from captivity, providing a land promised and preserved just for them, destroying kings, cities and strongholds that they might prosper for the sake of God’s glory, preserving and purifying families throughout generations, etc. And then the passage shifts to Joshua’s command. The very first words uttered are these: 

Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Then…

The people answered, “far be it from us that we should forsake the Lord to serve other gods…”

Joshua 24:14-16a

At the ripe old age of 9 years, I gave my life to Christ. This is something that I pray for my children daily–that they might have a desire to know and love Him from a young age. For as long as I can remember, I have known stories in the Bible. Many of them are familiar–like old friends–But I have to admit(and maybe you’ve never felt this) sometimes my heart needs to seem them afresh. Sometimes, in my flesh, I don’t see the stories of scripture with wonder and awe. And sadly, I lack that passion filling my eyes in other, younger spiritual seasons[when I say younger, I mean those foundational years…when everything was exciting and new]. This discourages me at times, and forms an incorrect self-doubt within my mind. Of course, this is due to the inconsistent, temporal nature of my own fickle heart. Never has it been because God changes. It’s always only ever me. I get in the way, so to speak. 

Too often, I am like the Israelites–making lofty commitments, foolishly attempting faithfulness in my own strength.

Sincerity and steadfastness do not come naturally because I am flawed. Honestly, this realization discouraged my heart earlier this week. But then I considered those armchairs. It isn’t always easy to get up earlier. And in fact, I really struggled most days, but it became routine. And I my heart became thankful. That, to me is a very modest example of what it means to pursue this mysterious, unattainable-in-my-own-flesh faithfulness to which I’m called. When Joshua charged the Israelites, he knew that some of them would fail. He even reminded them later(vs. 19) that it would be impossible to serve God with their own hollow promises[ He was far too holy for that]. 

But God, in his perfect grace and goodness, will always preserve those who are truly His. 

We saw Him do it continually with the Israelites, and I’ve seen it in my own life, too. When steadfastness becomes a strain, I am reminded of my need to continue looking to Christ, by whom true sincerity and faithfulness is possible. 

For me, that means honoring little commitments for the sake of the biggest one, and watching how God graciously meets me there. It means offering my often faithless, grumbling heart to the One who created it, knowing that He alone will restore, supply and sustain[producing greater joy!] to the very end. 

redeemingthemundane

Today, whatever your faithfulness looks like, know it isn’t overlooked by this completely Holy, yet perfectly loving Father. He sees you doing the dishes, working on your business, changing dirty diapers, caring for your house-bound friend or family member, striving at your cubicle,etc. He knows your needs, and He will give you grace to carry on, for the sake of your good, His name and His renown.

PS–feel free to ask me how my morning routine is going–the Lord knows I need the accountability! 🙂

This Woeful Wondering

 To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore.  

Jude 24-25


We live in a broken, fallen world. Every day, I wake up and struggle with that. As a wife and mother, most days I wrestle with feeling overwhelmed by my daily tasks. There is always something that needs to be done, but this season is precious! How do I savor the sweet moments with littles while also keeping the house clean? Sleep doesn’t feel restful, because there is too much to be done, and when I actually close my eyes it seems brief. On top of everything, there is this gnawing anxiety in my stomach regarding the future. Where will we go? What will our nation be like? What is going to happen to my children? What will their years as parents entail?


51/2 years ago, I became a mama. It was—apart from marriage—the most sobering transition I’ve faced so far. I carried this tiny baby in my womb, and suddenly, she was out in the world and we were magically parents. Did this mean I would know how to meet her needs? Not necessarily. I had to figure it out.
Now, almost 6 years later, I have two more precious babes and life has been a whirlwind. I have loved every minute—even the messy, disorganized, smelly ones. But, some days, admittedly, I feel like I am barely surviving…barely hanging on by the thread of my last cup of [insert caffeine-infused drink here].

Recently, my heart has felt heavy. In just a matter of decades, this country has rapidly changed. In my heart, it feels like things continue to get worse. And I am grieved. I walk around daily wondering how we could ever move into it. But then I realized: it may not be that this world has gotten worse. Maybe I’m just noticing its fallen nature more. I remember years ago crying out to the Lord regarding my own heart:

Father, I want to do this well. Show me. I don’t want to feel drained of energy constantly, and discouraged because my heart is finding hope in the temporal. Help!

In a [rare] quiet moment that day, He whispered,
I am here. I am for you. I love you. I am holding you. In every season, in every transition, whatever the circumstance, I do not change. Embrace my fearless love. Rest in my unchanging ways. Cling to me as your hope. And remember that in everything, I am God. I am in control. You are not meant to merely survive. Run to me each morning. Lay your burdens on me; I can handle it. In doing that, you will flourish.

The truth is: this world is no worse than it was after the Fall. Hurting people have–and always will–continue to hurt other people, ultimately because they have lost sight of (or never saw) their need to be whole. But the beauty of beholding brokenness is found in the grace of recognizing our need for rescue. This world and its desires will continue to deteriorate around us–and believers may suffer–but there is hope in knowing Christ! He alone is our solid Refuge and Strength(Psalm 46:1), and He is in control. No matter what happens, we can rest in His sovereign will. We can stop, fix our gaze on Him, and endure well–prayerfully engaging in opportunities to point others to Him.

Beloved friends, do not lose heart! Wherever you are this morning, however you feel, whatever you face, stop and take a moment to meditate on who God is(Psalms 103-104)! He is the Creator, the Holy One, the perfect Redeemer. As we fix our eyes on Him, the wearying circumstances of earth will surely grow strangely dim, and our hearts will press on in encouraged certainty. Oh, to have a heart fully fixed on his face! Oh, to rest in who He is! May our fickle hearts find peace in Him alone!


Other helpful avenues of encouragement:

1.  Seek out community. Specifically biblical community through a local body of believers(Hebrews 10:23-24). God has not called you to live out this purpose alone. Find a friend or a group of friends to walk alongside and pray with you. It helps, I promise. Plus, you’ll meet some wonderful people. In every season, God has provided faithful friendships that have spanned our marriage, despite many life transitions. Just recently I was thanking God for providing godly and goofy friends–those people with whom I can breathe and life feels a little less lonely. It has been a rich blessing and I am grateful.

  2.  Pray. By yourself. With another woman. Both. You will be reminded of what God is doing and how to continue praying to that end. Plus, you’ll become more aware of your daily dependence on Christ (2 Chronicles 7:14, John 15:5)
3.    Memorize the Word. Find a passage to claim over this situation and know. Chew on it daily until it is burned in your mind. That way, when the Enemy tries to attack, you can fight him with the inerrant, infallible, sufficient promises of God. Let this very word counsel your weary, restless heart. (Psalm 119:23)
  4.  Pour out. For me personally, when the hard days come, I ask the Lord for opportunities to serve Him—whether through checking in on a friend, writing a note, making a care package for someone, etc. I’m learning there are many ways to creatively love people even when you’re tied down by a busy schedule. Psalm 126:6 is one of my favorite promises–the Lord will be honored when we seek to invest rather than isolate.
5.  Be vulnerable. Share your struggles. The more open and honest you are with others about how you have been challenged, the more opportunities you have to share about what God has done! As a dear friend and mentor once told me, “We’re all in this boat together. We just need to know we’re not alone”. And chances are(as I’ve learned) you aren’t.

What about you? What is your calling today? This week? In this season of life? Who are your “people”? What is your burden? Surrender it to the Father.

He is more than able to keep you from falling…

Why Bother?

Gather. You’ve seen this word a million times. Hanging over the dining room table at your friend’s house, on the wall of the fellowship hall at your church, painted on artfully arranged coffee table blocks at your favorite cafe. And yet, I think we’ve all taken it’s meaning for granted. The chaos of this past year has somehow managed to seep into 2021 and we’re losing steam, aren’t we? For most of us, the idea of starting fresh held so many promises. But as so often happens, the shine of the new year is already blemished, and that lofty thought of starting over has lost its appeal.

This past Sunday, I was reminded of the need–my need–to be with people. This is a confession, of sorts—one that this introvert never imagined making. But here I am, admitting my dependence. I–the one who is very easily “spooked” by people–need people. But not just anyone and everyone–the people of God. And this is something I feel in my bones especially now. Over the past year, we’ve seen violence, death, sickness, fighting and everything in between. It has taken my breath away more often than not. But a surprising grief has overcome me–trickling in carefully and consistently the longer I push it down. This is a sadness that can’t be realized until it becomes deafening. It has moved me to my knees, and given me a longing for home.

When I consider what the people of God have endured throughout history, I am humbled at their perseveration through perseverance. The ancient heroes of the faith were not unfamiliar with suffering. They knew it well. It surrounded every breath, step and thought. Yet they were unafraid. Some experienced the loss of family members and friends–some even suffered unto death. But this was not a reason to cower in fear. In fact–it prompted a renewed vigor to remain steadfast, to pray without ceasing, to rejoice and to be thankful.

This is not so today. As I’ve observed the people of God–my own heart included–I sense a heartbreaking spirit of fear and apathy. Those words are not often linked, but here nothing pairs better. 2020 was horrendous. I never want to relive it, and I recognize that so many have suffered loss in ways I could never understand. I am familiar with my own demons, and understand the weight of hard days. There have been seasons where hopelessness drags on within and I have to fight to consider whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, commendable, lovely, excellent and worthy of praise.

But the truth that continues echoing in my mind–particularly in those dark moments–is: are we not meant to suffer? The King of Kings emptied himself that He might bring us into complete communion with God. In His perfect goodness, Jesus came, suffered and died. Isn’t it a gift to endure suffering well that He might be glorified? And yet I see fear encircling everything we do, threatening to overtake our lives. We do not serve. We do not meet together. We do not look for opportunities to gather and worship. All because we live parlayzed. I confess that I have even avoided opportunities that I could have taken because of this very thing.

But on Sunday I was gently reminded that this is not who we are. I recognize that every circumstance and conviction is different, so please do not hear me condemn. I realize that wisdom must be at the foundation of every decision; we must live cautiously(please don’t do anything foolish)!

But I am pleading: if at all possible–could we make it a priority to be together? To worship together? To serve together?

redeemingthemundane

Isolation is not healthy, nor is it really necessary for everyone. As far as it depends on you, could you prayerfully consider joining your local Body of Believers?

This year has already left us feeling defeated and discouraged. And this world is full of brokenness. But this is not where we place our hope! The Gospel was, is and always will be enough. And the Lord promises that–although we will suffer–He will hold us fast.

We can rest in who He is, and we can lean into the promises of His word alongside biblical community as often as we’re able. We will suffer, but we don’t have to endure it alone.

redeemingthemundane
7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.  --Phil. 3:7-11
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.---Hebrews 10:23-25

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.---1 Thess. 5:16-18

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,[a] serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
--Romans 12:9-13

Who’s the New Girl?

Hi! I’m new here. You may be asking yourself–WHO I am and WHY I’m writing. Understandable. Some days I do that very thing. Here’s the skinny…

I’m a mama. That’s my job. I’m not a craft genius(although I do love a good project), a podcaster(even though I can talk quite a bit…)and I don’t even have a regular or part-time job outside of being here…in my home. This may sound like a complaint. It isn’t! But what I’ve noticed in my brief time on the blogosphere is that most people have a more concrete reason for writing than mine…which is simply to write.

At the beginning of 2020(whew…what a year!) my third little love was born. He was my first boy. And though I wasn’t new to parenting, I felt wearier than ever! It may have been the combination of COVID-19, world events, another life transition, or the fact that this is year 3 of being a seminary wife(more on that later 🙂 ). Whatever it was, I realized I felt tired. In the past writing has always been a solid means of rejuvenation. Usually for me–a proud INFJ–my spare time is usually spent reading or journaling. But why make it public? Because–as I’m realizing more and more– I’m not an isolated case. There are more of you like me out there, I just know it! So here I am… praying that what I write resonates with you somehow, too.

I WANT TO…

encourage and exhort

|A SNIPPET|

Here, you’ll find…

  • yummy and easy recipes[tested and true]
  • thoughts to encourage and inspire
  • truth in my transparency
  • family moments
  • helpful life hacks
  • funny anecdotes
  • family resources
  • a weekly playlist!
  • Biblical meditation

You may have just stumbled along this page, and you might not think you’ll glean anything. That’s okay. However if you’re still reading after my ramblings, thank you. Your presence here means more than you know. ❤

The End is the Reward

Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes and I will keep it to the end

Psalm 119:33

I woke up lazily this morning, for superficial reasons, of course. My bed was warm; my toes toasty after a long night of sound sleep, and the weather outside truly was “frightful”. But there was a sense of dread forming as I considered the bleakness of the world around me. And I didn’t want to face it. Naturally I had to make the choice between getting out of bed(starting the day) or relishing a quiet, comfortable moment. Which would you choose?

It is these mundane lazy moments that often prompt reflection for me. I know, I know…laziness = reflection?

But there is simple beauty in slowly digesting the day one breath at a time. [for me] It’s a reminder to keep treading along; to maintain perspective.

redeemingthemundane

I often imagine that faithful tortoise slinking along the tracks, giving no thought to the miles logged, or the potential difficulty ahead. He just kept moving towards the goal: the end of the race.

I think, sometimes, I am more like the hare: desperately racing through each day, never mindful of the extraordinary, ordinary moments. Tryng to survive rather than thrive. It is then that I miss the momentary blessings in each breath.

But truth is the ever piercing arrow that daily aligns my weary soul:

I have chosen the way of faithfulness, I set your rules before me... Teach me O Lord, the way of your statutes 
and I will keep them to the end  (keep them as my reward) 
~ Psalm 119:30, 33

Isn’t it funny how a single footnote changes everything? I had never before noticed the asterisk by verse 30: keep your [precepts] as my reward.

God has provided the Word as the source all truth(Psalm 119:160) and this is our life-giving hope(Psalm 119:81)! When our souls desire any other thing, we will never know peace. This truth gives life, hope, and sustaining grace to remain faithful to the very end. When our hearts wearily wrestle with the many dangers toils and snares of a world full of divided affections, we must fix our eyes on Christ! We must continue[by God’s grace] to choose faithfulness, to set His ways before our flickering eyes. And we must ever be mindful of the reward that is in knowing Him and gazing upon His perfect goodness forever into eternity(Revelation 7:9-12)

For though our weakening eyes strain to see light, the light itself grows nearer and brighter with every faithful step.

redeemingthemundane