gratitude

Monday Meditation

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there–who made an end of all my sin. Before the Throne of God Above

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 1 Peter 5:6-9

Mondays hit hard, don’t they? I can sometimes so easily fall into feeling overwhelmed and anxious as I consider the tasks of the day[and truly–the week] at hand. That is exactly what happened this morning. My naturally melancholy personality was, once again, tempted to despair. Very quickly–even between leaving my bed and walking downstairs–I was grumpy; choosing to listen to my own negative, sinful thoughts instead of choosing to fix my gaze on Christ.

It feels like a new kind of suffering, doesn’t it?

In Peter’s day, the early Christians of Asia Minor faced what I would consider true suffering–they were harassed mercilessly; facing isolation and persecution by their pagan neighbors. Why? Because they continued to choose Christ.

And the cause of my suffering? My own sinfulness! I suffered by my own hand! I was tempted to despair, instead of remaining watchful and sober-minded.

I chose to listen to the murmurings of my own soul instead of entrusting the day[and it’s duties] to Christ!

Matthew Henry explains this well:

It is the duty of Christians, in all their distresses, to look more to the keeping of their souls than to the preserving of their bodies. The soul is of greatest value, and yet in most danger. If suffering from without raise uneasiness, vexation, and other sinful and tormenting passions within, the soul is then the greatest sufferer. If the soul be not well kept, persecution will drive people to apostasy, Ps. 125:3.The only way to keep the soul well is to commit it to God, in well-doing. Commit your souls to God by solemn dedication, prayer, and patient perseverance in well-doing, Rom. 2:7. Good people, when they are in affliction, have great encouragement to commit their souls to God, because he is their Creator, and faithful in all his promises.

I failed once again to submit my soul first to the Lord. Because of this, I spiraled into a vortex of looking only to myself. This produced within me bitterness, frustration and self-pity. But when we choose, by God’s kindness, to look first and foremost to Christ–this truly changes everything.

Our hearts are recalibrated to the rhythm of the Gospel.

It humbles me that I so quickly forget. I can worship heartily on Sunday, but when Monday rolls around I am–once again–faced with my own neediness.

Let us bless thee at all times and forget not how thou has forgiven our iniquities, healed our diseases, redeemed our lives from destruction, crowned us with lovingkindness and tender mercies, satisfied our mouths with good things, renewed our youth like the eagle’s. May thy holy Scriptures govern every part of our lives, and regulate the discharge of all our duties, so that we may adorn thy doctrine in all things. Valley of Vision

In Christ,

Sus

Featured Open Bible, closed Holy Bible, coffee mug with 'Be Still & Know' text, eyeglasses on wooden table by window

Monday Meditation

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf. Nor was it to offer himself as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. Hebrews 9:24-26

Every Monday morning, I awake thinking of my duties. It is my cleaning day, so that checklist runs through my mind. But it is also the start of another week—with school days, extra-curriculars, meals to plan, etc.

Mondays sometimes[for me] feel a little daunting. There are times when I wake up physically and emotionally drained before the week has even started!

Webster’s defines duty this way: something that one is expected or required to do by moral or legal obligation.

Hebrews 9 gives us a glimpse into the regular duties of the high priest in the Old Testament context. He was responsible for everything from supervising daily morning and evening sacrifices, discerning the will of God for the people and even maintaining the Temple. He inherited this duty and held it for life.

Annually(and arguably most importantly) he was required to go on Yom Kippur(the Day of Atonement) behind the veil into the Holy of Holies, where he sprinkled the blood taken from the sacrifice(made on behalf of himself and of the people) on the Mercy Seat. In this way, he atoned for the sins of the previous year.

As I considered my own duties this morning, I couldn’t help but marvel at the kindness of Christ.

For believers, he is our foremost High Priest. Unlike the priests of the Old Testament, he assumed this role willingly, on behalf of those he foreknew and predestined to be His(Romans 8:29). He did not come due to moral or legal obligation, nor did he come because he was expected to by the Father. He came out of His kindness and love(Titus 3).

And while the high priest offered annually for the sins of the people, this better High Priest offered his own life once and for all, to put away sin that his people might be redeemed.

It was not his duty, yet He came. He lived among us, suffered horribly and humbly, and died alone. And this changes everything.

So, while my actual duties threatened to overwhelm me before the day’s beginning, this was a needed perspective shift.

I can perform my duties(however menial and insignificant they feel at times) to the glory of God, in freedom because of the One who assumed the highest duty voluntarily on my behalf.

May the Holy Scriptures govern every part of our lives, and regulate the discharge of all our duties so that we may adorn thy doctrine in all things Valley of Vision

Featured

Finding Light in Everyday Moments

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

She teaches me daily. Since day 1, she has been our sunshine-seeker. She has always quietly embraced transition with an ease I sometimes envy. And she loves wholeheartedly. I remember one blustery winter morning in VT. These were the kinds of mornings when all you really wanted was a day in bed. You woke up with frigid fingers and toes, even beneath a bundle of blankets, and the responsibilities of the day squashed any attempt to burrow. I was barely waking up to this sensation when her tiny frame wandered into my bedroom.

“I can’t find it, mama”, this little voice beckoned to my sleepily. There was an urgency in her tone despite the drowsy hour. After a series of questions and–eventually–my departure from the pursuit of warmth, I realized that she was searching for the sun. It was a cold day in every sense of the word, and the sunshine—her favorite friend—was hiding behind snow clouds. She was devastated. Little fingers fumbled over my curtains as she desperately tried to roll them higher because “maybe he’s just hiding”. But he did not [and would not] emerge for quite some time. Her faith that the sunshine would appear still, never waned.

This is how she has always been. She’s my encourager when she senses spirits are low, a peacemaker when there is familial tension, and a hugger when the need arises(and sometimes even when the need isn’t fully realized to everyone else).

In her bitty years, this looked like sun-searching and big, wet kisses. And now in this season, it’s deeper. She gives everything in everything–the way she loves, friendship, a task, habits…everything. Sometimes this means that something with which she’s become so familiar(like sucking her thumb) is harder to break. But even then, her optimism doesn’t fade. She’s bright, cheerful and fighting to believe the best.

Recently, I’ve seen glimmers of spiritual depth. She has always been my caring, compassionate one. Often quick to step in with a hopeful solution or comment, she believes wholeheartedly. And I’m thankful I get to watch that develop as she grows. I can mark this by several new data points:

A few months ago, we attended the funeral of a precious friend. This was her first, and she wondered aloud what was to be expected and what behavior might be appropriate. We talked at length, and when we were finally there, I was blown away. In the flurry of my own responsibilities, seeking to interact with others, cleaning when needed, leading singing, etc, I hadn’t heard how the day was going for my children. Later, I was approached by the daughter of our recently deceased friend who shared that speaking with our daughter was a needed balm; a highlight of the day. When I shared the story at home, she remarked that she “just walked around talking to people”.

“I went up to folks and said, ‘hi’. My name is _____. What’s yours?”

A few nights ago, I took two of my daughters to the theatre. We learned that the main character was struggling vocally, and so we prayed. Afterward, when he was standing alone as other cast members were shining with excitement, my sunshine-seeker walked up to him alongside a friend and made a point to tell him, “you did a great job”.

And finally, today. You somehow learned that we have new neighbors with a little girl about your age, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when she rang our doorbell asking for you. All afternoon you played only to wander back inside a after a little while. You were–again–searching. When I inquired, you mentioned a Bible, because “I want to tell her the Easter story”.

My darling girl, your courage to look for the light has always taken my breath away. It is foreign to me—your relentless tenacity towards hope. I pray that the Father uses this to protect and preserve you, no matter what the season. You shine so brightly, and I cannot wait to watch how God continues to work.

If I Had Stayed[Lessons from Vermont]

/ Walden World / 2 Comments

A little over three years ago, our family moved from Rhode Island to Central Vermont. A job had opened up there for my husband, and we were thrilled at the opportunity he’d have to finish graduate school while also working full-time. Yes, it would be challenging. Yes, the days may be long. But it was the right move for us. The only problem is that we had to move in the span of 3 months. This meant tying up loose-ends where we were[with holidays thrown in amidst that] and then driving to a bitterly cold Vermont right in the beginning of the new year. I’m not sure I was prepared for exactly how cold it would be. I figured my frail Southern form had adjusted to the snow in Rhode Island, so this transition wouldn’t be hard at all…right?

But then the first snow fell. And it kept falling. For an entire day. And there was mud all over the floors of my new house. Plus it was an icy tundra!And the movers hit our mailbox because of the ice. It was dark and the snow stayed for…months. As a mama of two children under the age of 4, I was shocked and also felt taken hostage. We were stuck inside indefinitely(or at least, it felt that way)!

How would they expend energy everyday? How would my introverted heart find time to be alone when my husband was in quite possibly the busiest season of his life?!

I remember joking with a friend before our transition that I felt burned out socially and could cope for our season in VT without deep relationships. That would be 3 years. In hindsight, that’s a long time. But then friendship seemed like too much of an investment. We would simply survive and focus on family time.

Before we moved, my husband and I had the opportunity to connect with a local pastor and his wife. We figured we would seek to be faithful church members, but we wouldn’t have much bandwidth to have many deep friendships. Or at least, I didn’t. Plus, I was somewhat embittered by the cold. This was such a rural, frigid place. It seemed unlike anywhere I had ever been.A far cry from my very favorite residence–Southern California! I wondered why we had come in the first place. And if you had asked me, I probably would’ve told you that I hated it.

I actually remember thinking, “I wish we had stayed”.

redeemingmundance.com

For the course of those first few months, I remember feeling lonelier than I had ever been. We’d had deep friendships in Rhode Island, a church we loved and a house that seemed idyllic. But here we were, in dark, cold, icy Vermont.

And so, on that first Sunday when we made the half-hour drive to what would become our home-church—the “light in the valley” as it is so aptly named— I was grouchy. We walked in, and I tearfully recounted how I didn’t know anyone and we were out in the middle of nowhere. With snow-covered mountains and mud everwhere. These people had been here for years—most of them their entire lives. And I was this random outsider who clearly didn’t look at all like anyone else.

It felt hopeless.

I should stop here and say that I started this blog months ago. Even now as I am writing this, I feel differently. Where I once wrote that I’m not sure what changed I can now admit that I know exactly what changed. And it wasn’t me. I had resolved–or rather, the Lord reminded me– that the only way I might survive this wintry season of heart and weather was to press in. He is so kind to deal graciously with us in the midst of our stubborn sinfulness.

In my sinful stupor, the Lord reminded me to press in by His very example to join our uncomfortable, foreign, messy and cold world.

Redeeming the Mundane

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

Philippians 2:6-8

The following week, still cold-but humbled–I was carting my 4 and 1 year-olds to a mommy’s group. And then to a small group with their dad. Over the course of the next few months, we began to learn their lives, we shared meals together, wept together, prayed together, laughed and sang together…

Before I knew it, three years had passed. This girl who had once said she never imagined staying in such a rural place ended up finding joy in the middle of such a challenging transition. We added two more littles to the gang. We planted gardens, hiked rivers, watched Daddy catching fish, explored markets—carefully saving trinkets and savoring local faire. We found a little bit of sweetness in every simple day. We endured the present contentedly and [by God’s goodness] learned to love where we had been transplanted.

We learned afresh to cherish [and prioritize] the local body of believers–the Church. And we humbly watched as these beloved friends regularly ministered to our little clan—whether it was through time together, time in God’s Word, sharing a meal[or a creemee on a breezy summer afternoon], or all of the little in-between oddities that make up living.

When faced with the opportunity to move elsewhere, we knew it was God’s will, but our hearts were saddened to think of leaving. This is never something I imagined admitting. And on our last day to worship alongside these precious saints, I looked on tearfully as we shared one final meal, prayed corporately and watched our children play–blissfully unaware of the impending change.

Standing in my new house all those years ago watching my daughters scale the packing paper mound, I never could’ve guessed how God would provide. But that’s the way it always goes, isn’t it?

Redeeming the Mundane

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

I could recall countless stories of how God faithfully provided during our time there(neighbors who became some of our dearest friends, a homeschool community and afterward play dates where deep friendships were nurtured, shared holidays, snow days with friends.etc…). But for the sake of time and brevity, I’ll just say…

There is so much profound joy that I would not have known if I had stayed in Rhode Island…

10 YEARS

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

10 years ago, I was preparing to marry a Naval Officer. We graduated college, he commissioned and we planned a wedding for mid-August with a cross-country move to the West Coast shortly afterward. The Navy kept us apart that summer, but I remember how much sweeter the day was because of it. When we were reunited, it was busy and [a little] chaotic, but mostly just humbling. We saw precious family members and treasured friends come together to celebrate what God had done. Everyone squeezed into the beautiful church where so many other foundational moments in my life occurred to pray over us and watch as our lives became one.

I remember the hurried joy of the time. Rising at dawn because I just couldn’t sleep any longer. The quiet calm of watching the hairdresser sweep my hair up into the prettiest bun with my big sister alongside. Getting ready with my favorite friends. Reading a note from my future husband. Giggling as we all primped and posed for a never-ending-list of pictures. Tearfully watching and waiting as people I loved trickled into the sanctuary to hand-picked accompaniment. Praying one last time with just Mom and Dad. And, finally…walking towards my very best friend as most of us held back tears. We ended the day the way it began—with people. We danced heartily, ate contentedly and laughed. It was wonderfully loud and crazy. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Today, I awoke in the early hours to the sound of our 8 month old daughter. We quietly padded into the kitchen bypassing her two older sisters sat sleepily on the couch, their brother sleeping soundly in a rare morning of calm.

We have moved 4 times. Owned 4 different cars. Worked many different jobs. And made many wonderful friends. Most importantly we have 4 precious children. The Naval Officer I married is now a pastor. And I—once a student of the Theatre am now pursuing Biblical Counseling as a stay-at-home mom. He has the privilege to work his dream job. And I have the privilege of educating our kiddos(one of MY dreams). We live somewhere we never could’ve imagined. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. The Lord has surely blessed us abundantly more than we could have asked or imagined (because we really never COULD have imagined all of this).

I loved our wedding day. But even though it was one of the greatest of my life, I wouldn’t go back. Where we are now is too sweet, and the Lord has been too good for me to even wish I could re-live it. Even though I enjoy reminiscing, how much better it is to recall God’s goodness and grace in our lives! And share it with our precious ones.

So today we will have another wonderfully loud and crazy day. But not because we’re at the biggest party ever with our closest friends and family. Because we’re with our own little God-given tribe. Tyler will go to work while we play at home. Tonight we will enjoy boiled peanuts(a tradition) while watching the wedding with those same little ones. It’s nothing extravagant, but it is the life God has provided and I am nothing short of grateful.

All glory be to God for 10 years with you, my greatest blessing from the Lord(besides Jesus)!

“Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Let the earth hear his voice! Praise the Lord, praise the Lord! Let the people rejoice! O, come to the Father through Jesus the Son and give him the glory—great things He hath done!”

| S E R V A N T |

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

I haven’t said much about our time in Maine here because these last two weeks have been busy! Our days are filled with unpacking, picnic playdates at the park, exploring our neighborhood, etc. Of course my sweet littles are processing still—which sometimes looks like bickering, outbursts of tears, silly moods, needing more “mommy time” or anything in between. We have tried to shepherd their hearts tenderly(with the help of so many precious new friends and MUCH prayer) but some days I’m tired!

This last week a new friend recommended “couch time” every morning. It’s where we sing, read(about cultures, poets, authors), recite and learn. It is simply a time to sit together in stillness and absorb before we dive into the chaos of the day.

This past week we’ve discussed Philippians 2 and the idea of serving like Jesus. We’ve made a game of yelling, “servant alert” every time we see(which delights our littles to no end)!

Today—when my middle girl and I had to miss corporate worship because our sweet boy has a cold, we were disappointed. I was here at the house with three under 4 who sorrowfully watched their big sis walk to the church(which is right across our backyard) with tearful eyes.

Throughout the morning I took the opportunity to catch up on housework. It’s sometimes easier for me to busy myself if I’m feeling particularly down. I tried hard to keep things lighthearted in the midst of missing fellowship. But my middle must’ve known, because she stayed in her room boasting of “surprises” and “don’t come in, Mommy”! I figured maybe she was creating a new look with her dress-up clothes ☺️

But…

as she led me to her room—eyes bright and shimmering— I couldn’t believe what I saw. We stood there together as she whispered, “I cleaned it, Mama”.
And no, it’s not perfect. But it’s her best. As I verbally took in every detail, she beamed.

Mamas, the Lord knows our hearts. He knows our deepest needs and desires. In the weary moments when I’m wondering if any effort I make will bear fruit, the Lord graciously bears me up with the promise that nothing done in His name is in vain.

1 Thessalonians 15:58

Celebrating 7!

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

ROSEBUD IS 7 |

I once heard someone mention how grateful they were to have a daughter as an oldest. I can honestly say I resonate wholeheartedly! But it’s not just that you’re a daughter—it’s that you’re Y-O-U. My thoughtful, tender-hearted, organized, ambitious, cheerful and hilarious oldest girl is 7. I’ve spent the last 24 hours reflecting tearfully on the blessing that you are, my girl. Each new day with you brings moments of laughter, profound conversation and heartfelt gratitude that you’re ours. Thanks be to God that you are already so inquisitive, bright, servant-hearted and kind. We all adore you. I look forward to seeing how God uses you and I’ve already seen His work within you in so many ways. Happiest day, precious one!

Is. 58:12 💜🌻

Urban Air Trampoline Park for your birthday excursion!

Wordless Wednesday: July 4th!

/ Walden World / Leave a comment

Still playing catch up with my photos…here are some more summer highlights! We celebrated our nation’s freedom by attending church, then hosting a bbq for friends. The night of the 4th we attended [probably] the closest fireworks show I’ve ever seen at another friends house! The fireworks were launched from the mountain where we were sitting—incredible!