When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there–who made an end of all my sin. Before the Throne of God Above

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 1 Peter 5:6-9

Mondays hit hard, don’t they? I can sometimes so easily fall into feeling overwhelmed and anxious as I consider the tasks of the day[and truly–the week] at hand. That is exactly what happened this morning. My naturally melancholy personality was, once again, tempted to despair. Very quickly–even between leaving my bed and walking downstairs–I was grumpy; choosing to listen to my own negative, sinful thoughts instead of choosing to fix my gaze on Christ.

It feels like a new kind of suffering, doesn’t it?

In Peter’s day, the early Christians of Asia Minor faced what I would consider true suffering–they were harassed mercilessly; facing isolation and persecution by their pagan neighbors. Why? Because they continued to choose Christ.

And the cause of my suffering? My own sinfulness! I suffered by my own hand! I was tempted to despair, instead of remaining watchful and sober-minded.

I chose to listen to the murmurings of my own soul instead of entrusting the day[and it’s duties] to Christ!

Matthew Henry explains this well:

It is the duty of Christians, in all their distresses, to look more to the keeping of their souls than to the preserving of their bodies. The soul is of greatest value, and yet in most danger. If suffering from without raise uneasiness, vexation, and other sinful and tormenting passions within, the soul is then the greatest sufferer. If the soul be not well kept, persecution will drive people to apostasy, Ps. 125:3.The only way to keep the soul well is to commit it to God, in well-doing. Commit your souls to God by solemn dedication, prayer, and patient perseverance in well-doing, Rom. 2:7. Good people, when they are in affliction, have great encouragement to commit their souls to God, because he is their Creator, and faithful in all his promises.

I failed once again to submit my soul first to the Lord. Because of this, I spiraled into a vortex of looking only to myself. This produced within me bitterness, frustration and self-pity. But when we choose, by God’s kindness, to look first and foremost to Christ–this truly changes everything.

Our hearts are recalibrated to the rhythm of the Gospel.

It humbles me that I so quickly forget. I can worship heartily on Sunday, but when Monday rolls around I am–once again–faced with my own neediness.

Let us bless thee at all times and forget not how thou has forgiven our iniquities, healed our diseases, redeemed our lives from destruction, crowned us with lovingkindness and tender mercies, satisfied our mouths with good things, renewed our youth like the eagle’s. May thy holy Scriptures govern every part of our lives, and regulate the discharge of all our duties, so that we may adorn thy doctrine in all things. Valley of Vision

In Christ,

Sus